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Wednesday, September 11

More people are becoming seriously overweight. Price increase

More and more people are becoming seriously overweight.

 Some people think a solution can be to increase the price of fattening foods. 

 To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

The issue of obesity has become a growing concern globally, with more people becoming seriously overweight. Some argue that increasing the price of fattening foods could be an effective solution to this problem. While this approach may have some positive effects, I partly agree with this view, as it is not a comprehensive solution and must be accompanied by other strategies to effectively combat obesity.

On the one hand, raising the price of fattening foods could discourage their consumption to some extent. When unhealthy foods such as sugary snacks, fast food, and processed items become more expensive, consumers may be less likely to purchase them frequently. This could lead to a decrease in the overall intake of high-calorie foods, which is one of the primary contributors to obesity. For example, in countries where taxes on sugary drinks have been implemented, there has been a noticeable reduction in consumption. Additionally, higher prices could encourage food manufacturers to reformulate their products to make them healthier, thus contributing to improved public health.

However, simply increasing the price of fattening foods is unlikely to be a complete solution to the problem of obesity. Price hikes alone do not address the root causes of obesity, such as a lack of awareness about healthy eating, limited access to affordable and nutritious food, and sedentary lifestyles. For instance, low-income families might continue purchasing unhealthy foods despite higher prices, as they may still be cheaper than healthier alternatives. Moreover, increasing prices could disproportionately affect those with limited financial resources, potentially leading to unintended consequences, such as food insecurity or malnutrition.

Therefore, a more holistic approach is needed to tackle obesity effectively. This could include public health campaigns to raise awareness about the importance of a balanced diet and regular physical activity, subsidies for healthy foods to make them more affordable, and greater investment in community programs that promote exercise and healthy living. These measures, combined with reasonable pricing policies, would likely be more effective in addressing the complex issue of obesity.

In conclusion, while increasing the price of fattening foods could contribute to reducing obesity rates to some extent, it is not a standalone solution. A combination of educational initiatives, access to affordable healthy options, and supportive policies is essential for a more comprehensive and lasting impact on public health.



Vocabulary Used in the Essay and Their Meanings

  1. Obesity - A medical condition characterized by excessive body fat.
  2. Discourage - To deter or dissuade someone from doing something.
  3. Intake - The amount of food or drink consumed.
  4. Processed items - Foods that have been altered from their natural state, usually for preservation or flavor enhancement.
  5. Reformulate - To change or improve the recipe or composition of a product.
  6. Sedentary - Involving little physical activity or exercise.
  7. Subsidies - Financial assistance provided by the government to help reduce the cost of certain goods or services.
  8. Food insecurity - The state of being without reliable access to a sufficient quantity of affordable, nutritious food.
  9. Holistic approach - A method that considers all factors or aspects of a situation rather than focusing on one.
  10. Public health campaigns - Organized efforts to promote health awareness and practices among the general population.

Reasons for an 8 Band Score

  1. Task Response: The essay clearly addresses both sides of the argument, expressing partial agreement with the prompt. It provides a balanced perspective by acknowledging the potential benefits of raising prices on fattening foods while also discussing the limitations of this approach. The conclusion provides a clear, justified opinion that synthesizes the discussed points.

  2. Coherence and Cohesion: The essay is well-organized, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs that present both sides of the argument, and a conclusion. Ideas are logically connected, and cohesive devices such as "on the one hand," "however," "therefore," and "in conclusion" are used effectively to guide the reader through the argument.

  3. Lexical Resource: A wide range of vocabulary is used appropriately and effectively throughout the essay. It includes less common expressions and precise word choices that accurately convey meaning (e.g., "discourage," "intake," "reformulate," "disproportionately affect," "unintended consequences," "holistic approach").

  4. Grammatical Range and Accuracy: The essay demonstrates a variety of complex sentence structures (e.g., conditional sentences, relative clauses) with good control and only occasional minor errors. The grammatical structures are appropriate for the task, and the meaning is clear throughout.


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