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Tuesday, April 16

The limited budget of the government, especially those in developing countries are better spend on health and education then on the employment generating project Do you agree or disagree.

 

The limited budget of the government, especially those in developing countries are better spend on health and education then on the employment generating project Do you agree or disagree.

Give reason for your answer and include any relevant example from your knowledge and experience.

The limited budget of the government
I agree with the statement that the limited budget of the government, especially in developing countries, is better spent on health and education rather than on employment-generating projects. Several reasons support this viewpoint.

Firstly, investments in health and education have long-term benefits that extend beyond immediate economic gains. Improving healthcare systems and access to education can lead to a healthier, more skilled workforce, which is essential for sustainable development. A healthier population is more productive and can contribute more effectively to the economy in the long run. Similarly, investing in education equips individuals with the skills and knowledge needed to secure better jobs and participate more actively in society, ultimately leading to poverty reduction and economic growth.

Secondly, prioritizing health and education addresses fundamental human needs and promotes social equity. Access to quality healthcare and education is a basic right that every individual should have, regardless of their socioeconomic status. By directing resources towards these sectors, governments can reduce disparities in health outcomes and educational opportunities, thereby fostering a more inclusive and fair society.

Moreover, neglecting health and education can have detrimental effects on economic development. Poor health and low educational attainment can perpetuate a cycle of poverty, as individuals struggle to break free from limited opportunities and low-income jobs. In contrast, investing in health and education creates a foundation for upward mobility and empowers individuals to reach their full potential, ultimately leading to greater economic prosperity for the nation as a whole.

For example, countries like Finland and South Korea have achieved remarkable economic success by prioritizing investments in education. Both countries have consistently ranked among the top performers in global education assessments and have developed highly skilled workforces that drive innovation and economic growth.

In conclusion, while employment-generating projects are important for stimulating short-term economic activity, the limited budget of governments, especially in developing countries, is better spent on health and education. These investments not only yield long-term economic benefits but also address fundamental human needs and promote social equity, ultimately laying the groundwork for sustainable development and prosperity.


Teacher`s Feedback why this answer for 7 band

Coherence and Cohesion (7):

The essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the argument and is linked cohesively with transition words and phrases. The ideas progress logically from discussing the long-term benefits of health and education investments to their role in promoting social equity and economic development.

Lexical Resource (7):

The vocabulary used is varied and suitable for the topic. The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary related to economic development, education, healthcare, and social equity. Examples include terms like "sustainable development," "inclusive society," "upward mobility," and "global education assessments."

Grammatical Range and Accuracy (6):

Overall, the essay maintains grammatical accuracy, but there are some minor errors present. For instance, in the sentence "neglecting health and education can have detrimental effects on economic development," there is a subject-verb agreement issue ("effects" should be "effect"). Additionally, in the sentence "Access to quality healthcare and education is a basic right that every individual should have," a comma should be added after "right" for clarity. These errors slightly detract from the overall fluency and precision of the language.

Task Achievement (7):

The essay effectively addresses the task prompt by providing a clear opinion ("I agree with the statement") and supporting it with relevant reasons and examples. The response demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and argues convincingly why health and education should be prioritized over employment-generating projects, especially in developing countries.

Overall, this essay would likely score a band 7 on the IELTS exam. It presents a coherent argument with relevant examples and demonstrates a good command of vocabulary, though some minor grammatical errors are present.



1 comment:

  1. The discussion on how governments, particularly in developing countries, should allocate their limited budgets—focusing on health, education, or employment-generating projects—is crucial. The article on IELTSPen brilliantly highlights this dilemma, arguing the importance of a balanced approach that doesn't sideline any of these critical areas. While health and employment are vital, education forms the bedrock of sustainable development and societal progress. This is well exemplified by the Singaporean education system. Singapore's emphasis on high educational standards and its ranking among the best in the world underscores the transformative power of investing in education. Such investment not only enhances individual capabilities but also propels economic growth and health standards.

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